It might appear to be a very strange question, especially from a blog about making money online but I have my reasons for asking.
You see, I don’t think failure is always down to people NOT doing certain things but can also be because many people do OTHER things which prevent them succeeding in the very thing that they really want. For many of us – maybe most of us – spare time and money is in short supply.
This doing of OTHER things can be the result of many habits or circumstances, such as not having a lot of funds but spending whatever spare cash they do have on doing everyday pleasures like eating takeaways or popping out for a few beers.
These things do give us pleasure but only for a few hours and we humans crave instant gratification often opting to have a quick pleasure now instead of the long term pleasure brought about from accomplishing a goal.
Sometimes we spend our spare time and money on things not because we want to but out of a habit, a craving for instant pleasure or even for other people’s pleasure such as a loved one.
As the old saying goes ‘time is money’’– and it is. Time is our most valuable asset and money is our most powerful tool, but if you are unable to spare much of either then your chances of success can be pretty low.
So to succeed you need to invest either your time or money or both but when you are an average person with a day job and a partner with short supply of time and money you can often find yourself stuck in what feels like a vacuum watching your spare time and money being sucked away from you.
Relationships are great, to spend your life with someone who cares about you and someone you care about can be very rewarding but it can also rob you off a lot of valuable time. Your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend obviously wants to spend time with you, this is understandable but they also want to spend time with their friends – with you, and they want to do things – often with you.
The things they want to do such as going out for meals, going on holidays, going out drinking and dancing, having days out to the seaside or shopping trips in big cities, going to the cinema or seeing shows or even just having a quiet night in with a film, a bottle of wine and a takeaway costs money. They also add up in hours.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should suddenly become single and get rid of your loved one or your family nor am I saying that you cannot or should not enjoy time with them or enjoy doing things.
What I am saying is, and I speak from a lot of personal experiences, is to be aware of what you are doing, what you are spending your time and money on and what that could be doing to your chances of success.
I have noticed that over the years I have been to more ‘friends’ gatherings thanks to the better half than going to gigs or music events. I for one prefer the latter. I have had some great nights with friends but often I would find that I had spent money which – at that time – I could ill afford on food and drink at these gatherings.
Then when I saw a poster or promotion for a gig that I really would have loved to have gone to I didn’t because I chose to save what little money I had left for more important things. Which really sucked when you consider what I had managed to waste money on. Had I been single I would have chosen more of the latter.
The same thing is said for time, time is very precious and I am also guilty of wasting time watching pointless soaps and TV shows which have done nothing more for me than pass time. Much of it wasn’t even that enjoyable either! When I was single I very rarely watched the TV until I crawled into bed, I would wind down with a film or some comedy. Now I end up sitting and watching the TV while I chat to the family.
Now here is the thing, we often do things without thinking. I too have called at Starbucks or Costa Coffee for a quick drink now and then but I certainly won’t make a habit of it though. I know people who call in regularly, spend up to £30 a week on coffee and the odd cake or panini then complain that they have no money left for that gig or party that they fancy.
Correct me if I am wrong but spending money each week on things that you can get from home is wasting valuable money that you could be using for ‘other’ fun things. Especially if money and time is in short supply, why would you waste it on things that are just short temporary pleasures?
I use gigs and other fun things as the example to what we miss out on by being sucked into doing things we would rather not do but the time and money could be spent on doing things which could change your life for the better. You could be working on a business or a book, something that could drastically improve your lifestyle.
Not everyone has the same amount of resources and with all of us living different lifestyles no two lives are the same. I agree that we all have 24 hours in a day but I don’t buy into that ‘we all have the same amount of time’ line. We do all have 24 hours a day but circumstances and choices often dictate what time we are left with spare.
Even choices we have made in the past dictate our amount of spare time, and they cannot just be stopped or changed at the drop of a hat. If you chose to have children then you cannot just get rid of them to free up time.
So the next time someone tries to make you feel bad for not having much time and use the words ‘You chose to have children’ just ignore them for being a prat no matter if it is technically true. What you need to do is realise what time you are wasting on doing the things that you do not want to do – ignoring those that you have to do as part of your life or family responsibilities.
Earning money to put food on the table and the roof over your family’s heads is very important. Running your partner or children around to friends houses or doing stuff with them is very important.
But going to the pub to drink several glasses of beer or wine while you gossip or sit and watch families fall out in soap operas is not important. They are the things that you chose to do in the here and now and they are also things that can change now. If time and money is in short supply then you need to prioritise and become more selfish and ruthless with your time.
If you want to change your life, your job or your lifestyle and you need to build or grow a business, make more money or even write that bestselling novel you will need to spend the time and money on making it happen.
And if that means saying no to less nights out and less meals with your friends or your partner’s friends then so be it. What you are losing out on in the long run is probably far more than what you are gaining in the short term.