Everyone deserves something from life but the word deserve is often associated with ‘getting something for nothing’ such as finding ‘the one’ when it comes to love or finding a wealthy partner who will shower you with all of the things you want in life without having to work for them.
The above statements are some that I have borrowed from my better half’s friends who used to wind her up saying things like that when they got together for drinks and nibbles. They would talk about the things they wanted and that they ‘deserved’ them because… well I am not really sure why they thought they deserved them… maybe it was because they simply wanted those things.
They were good people and good people do deserve good things but in truth the things you ‘deserve’ will only come your way when you put some work in. You get what you do… not what you deserve.
Using the examples above, if a person wanted to find a wealthy partner to take care of them for life they would need to go to places and do things that are necessary to snare such a person.
To find a wealthy partner you would go to the places where they drink or hang out, you would join specific dating websites, dress in ways that they may like and maybe speak in a way that doesn’t turn them off.
OK… I know that people are different and that wealthy people do not all speak the same way or like the same things but there is a huge difference between a wealthy person and someone who choses not to earn money or own material possessions but you get what I am saying.
If you looked like you didn’t care about yourself and spoke like a ‘navvy’ as my gran would say then you would find it hard to attract the right people.
It is the same in EVERYTHING that you do, if you wanted to be a professional footballer you would practice hard and work at going to the right places where you can be ‘spotted’.
If you wanted to be an actor then you would spend your weekends and evenings going to drama classes and act in small production stage shows to learn your craft. You would turn up to all of the auditions and put yourself out there as did the local girl Sheridan Smith who has now become one of the UKs most popular actresses.
If you want to be a musician you would spend any spare money you had buying the equipment you needed to develop your craft. You would spend as much of your spare time practicing and making music as well as doing those all important first gigs which might be free to start with. It would be highly likely that you would take a job or maybe a second job which you did not like purely to help fund building up your skills and career.
If you were unemployed and looking for work or ways to make some money you would go round to the local businesses handing in your CV or you would print up leaflets and post them through people’s doors and put them up in local shops. You would go to the job centre regularly or look at the job adverts in papers or online everyday until you found something.
Then and only then do you ‘deserve’ what you get… because you made it happen.
Now this might seem obvious but to many people that fact is lost on them. I recently watched a TV show about people on benefits here in the UK and one of the people they followed was a man who wanted to be a successful actor and entertainer yet he was in his early twenties and never went to a drama club or class or practiced any form of acting.
He did nothing, he wanted the state to help him fund his career choices yet never once did he put himself out to ‘make things happen’. Now I am going to do something that I don’t like doing which is predict the success of an individual by looking in from the outside… I predict that he will never become an actor and I also predict that he will never change his life much from what it was now.
I hate predicting people’s future and success mainly because you cannot, even The Beatles and JK Rowling were told that they would not amount to anything as did countless others. History is littered with successful people who made it when they were told they would not…
(Who Became Very Successful)
…but what differs these people from the example I use is that they actually did something and didn’t just wish it.
The guy on the television programme would not achieve success because he did nothing that would generate any form of success in anyway even if he strongly believed that he ‘deserved it’.
It is true, you get what you do and not what you deserve…. only when you do ‘certain things’ do you ‘deserve’ certain results. The word ‘deserve’ to me is closely connected to the word ‘reward’… ‘deserve’ means that after you have taken 1 and added it to 2 then you are rewarded with 3. You deserve to get the reward 3 because you took the time to get 1 and 2 and add them together. Simple!
You only deserve the rewards that you work towards, it doesn’t matter what the work is, what you do or how you go about things but if you do certain things that lead to attaining a desired and specific reward then you deserve it and probably will get it too.
Without the ‘doing’ your wants will just be ‘wishes’ and no matter how much you think you ‘deserve’ something, you will not get it if all you do is wish.
So if there is something that you want and think you deserve then you better start taking action and work towards it otherwise you are unlikely to get it!
While we are on the subject of ‘deserving’ and ‘wishing’ I recommend that you read this article here: